I’m not a proper dad.
Firstly, I’m not big on football. I don’t hate it, it’s just not an important thing in my life.
Like many kids, I got my lifelong indifference to football from my Dad. He didn’t buy me my first football the day after I could walk, and we spent many a happy hour not kicking a ball around the park. I fondly remember the first time he didn’t take me to see my first match, anxiously not clutching his hand as I didn’t look down in rapt wonder from the stands.
Also, I’m not that keen on beer. I don’t mind it, but I’d rather have a vodka and coke, thanks. Or a glass of wine. If I do have a beer it’s something not too hoppy and chilled to within an inch of it’s life. That’s just the way I roll.
I don’t play golf.
So really, I’m not a proper dad. Well, not by the standards of the Father’s Day Gift People. They’ve decided that all dads really want is a football-shaped beer dispenser. Or a beer-shaped football. Or golf-flavoured beer. Or whatever.
It’s all rather depressing. Unlike Jane (who has a rabid dislike of Mother’s Day – with good reasons) I kind of like the idea of Father’s Day. I don’t want to be waited on hand and foot, I’ve just never had a international day for me before and I want to milk it a bit.
But, if the Father’s Day Gift People have their way I’ll be getting a card with a joke about slippers on it, and a golfball-shaped opener for football-shaped beer bottles. Sigh.
I have it on good authority that Tom’s got me a little something though, and his taste is impeccable, so maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised!
my son chose a dinosaur shaped photo frame with pic of him inside for my dad – hope he appreciates it
Now that sounds like a cool present.
I hear he’s got you the latest book, from that series you so like.
It’s not my World Cup sticker chart.
That sounds good. If a little non-specific.
I’m sure – whatever it is – you’ll love it.
Of course!
Which raises the question, if the Father’s Day Gift People did target your sort of Fathership, what would they be selling?
Good question. Dinosaur picture frames sound good. Um… manly cooking gadgets? Grown-up clothes branded for a child of the seventies and eighties? That kinda stuff!
Surely in this weather the perfect gift for you has to be a splendid barbecue where you can cook and also “be da man”!
Admittedly Tom may find it hard to carry.
Maybe he should start with just a single kebab skewer this year and build on it.
And… what’d ya get???
Well if your Google ads are anything to go by, Tom probably got you a historical newspaper!!!