England! Cream teas! The sound of Merlin engines over the South Downs! Cricket! And… what was that other thing? Oh yes! Football!
And, for a few weeks, we can hope that maybe, despite every sign to the contrary, our football players will play football much better than all the other football players; and we will win the football!
And what better way to show your support for Our Football Players than proudly displaying an English flag on your house, vehicle or face!
But wait… what if people don’t realise that the classic red cross on a white background is the English flag? What if they think you’re supporting First Aid or something? Why, you need to improve the English flag by emblazoning it with the word ENGLAND in big unfriendly letters across the middle! Now no-one can be mistaken about the fervour of your support of England and the only valid expression of Englishness, kicking a ball around a field!
I have heard that this masterstroke of design hasn’t gone unnoticed among the monarchy and government of this great country, and from next year a new version of the Union Flag will be launched to replace the existing, confusingly unlabelled one. Now you’ll be able to look up at Buckingham Palace and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you’re in…
The new flag of Britain.
Until the new flags are distributed, feel free to print out this version and iron it to your face.
Perhaps Cameron will don it. He’s putting a flag up at his gaff. And surely, it’s Engerland? Non?
En-ger-land? True. I wonder why they don’t put that on the flags.
It may be slightly un patriotic of me to say, but i hope england lose as quickly as possible so all the arseholes will shut up.
I really thought maybe they hadn’t regained their fervent over-optimism after the last humiliating defeat.
For the record: I hate all sport (all spectator sport) and despise how such events take over the television for days on end. That is all.
Duly noted.
I tried stencilling in “United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland” on mine but I ran out of space down the middle…
I’m looking forward to snapping it off cars.
Having just returned from South Africa (where I was spending time on mom’s farm, not there for world cup!), I’m enraging the locals in Hampshire with my SA flag.. I am South African so I think this is allowed – and happily our flag does not include the country’s name anywhere